Finnick Odair.

Okay. This post is dedicated to the novel that cut my tear glands up and sent those salty water out of my system. And i'm not talking about one of those kind of novels. I was exactly talking about the ONLY novel.

MOCKINGJAY.

The whole Hunger Games Trilogy revolved around the fact that people die and we can't do anything about it. No matter how special they are, or how lovable, or how they're also protagonists in some way-they die. They freaking die under the imagination of this brutal, violent, yet strikingly awesome author under the name of Suzanne Collins. So, the Mockingjay was the last of the three books. The whole group of rebels, the main cast of the story, is at war and they somehow got chased on the whole entire city by the Peacemakers or the Police, in normal terms. They made their way down the sewer system of the city, and decided to reach the antagonist's mansion through there, underground. So, Katniss, the heroine of the story, leads the whole troop. After some long hours of trekking that slimy, dark, and stinking pipes, they decided to rest. After some time, she heard some hisses. After a few more of that, she realized that it was her freaking name. So, she wakes up everybody and decided to run. Two of them decided to be left behind to buy some time. And as y'all know, when people volunteer to leave them behind, they might as well making their death wish, only in a more heroic way. But, those two wasn't enough. Those hissing mutants came closer and closer, until they almost got her. This Pollux guided them to a ladder up to the streets again, and so I though, YES. They're freaking safe. But, after some narrating, Katniss noticed that Gale, her best friend, and Finnick, my fictional husband, wasn't among the ones who were safe. She peered down and pulled Gale, his neck bleeding like crazy. Katniss tried to pull someone, anyone out. But Gale stopped her saying that there's no one left even though Katniss can hear a human cry. When she peered down again, she saw three of those hissing monsters, yanking Finnick's body. And my awesome Finnick, is still conscious trying to defend himself . Then, one of those monsters bent down for the death blow. Katniss sort of had a connection with Finnick at that time, and she was the one who saw the whole life of Finnick, flashing back.

THAT'S WHERE I CRIED.

Finnick died in the manner of a brutal slaughter. Like really, Collins. You've killed Cinna already. Can you spare this handsome, seagreen-eyed hottie for me? I was like, WHY, OH WHY, DID THIS PERFECT MAN HAVE OT DIE?? WWWWHHHHHHHYYYYY?????
There would absolutely be no difference! My sister went downstairs to see me crying in front of the computer screen as I was reading a PDF version of it.She didn't mind, though.

But the point is, Finnick Odair died in the arms of those hissing monsters. Honestly, you wouldn't have any idea how gorgeous he is if you haven't read the book. So here's the deal: Freaking try to read the books first, then judge me if I'm way too dramatic by Finnick's death. I don't care if he loves Annie. I care, okay? I care enough to cry for him. WAY TOO INVOLVED, in this book I was. Yes, I cried for some fictional character that was supposed to be alive some time in the future. But, come on, I read those books, reveling at the things that he did.

I'd rather have Gale died, than him. Because if Gale died, then Katniss would be hurt but there's Peeta to keep her whole. But if my Finnick die, who would keep Annie whole? Who would keep her sane? Or me for that matter, how, Oh how, will I be able to react to the movie if he did die? I cannot. The books were already harsh in my imagination. How will I be able to get through the movie version?

Oh, Finnick. You'll still be alive in my heart, though. Finnick.

I'm seriously back.

Okay, it's been such a long time, and I mean really long. But, seeing as my last post needed a conclusion, let me say the ending...

Is it such a bad thing to expect? I don't think so. I mean, you seriously can't go on in this life without those expectations, right? So, there you go. I kinda got my hopes up as high as those skyscraper things so when it didn't happen, I fell back to the ground unable to do anything about it. There you go. Yes, my dream was being the champion because I have some reputation that I have to earn. But then, life doesn't always give you what you want. So, I lost. I came up 1st Runner-Up and to most people, they said that I seriously did fine. But after the contest, I cried and was still in a painful stupor. Do I look like I seriously did fine? Like, really. I was in a bad shape and not even Krispy Kreme and Starbuck's can tune up my depressed mood.

So yeah. I really, seriously broke down. Like, come on, girl, get your bearings fixed. Well, thankfully, God helped me get better. He was there making me understand that it wasn't such a bad thing, after all. So yeah, my bitterness stayed etched inside my heart for a while there, but time healed everything. The event that got me down to my feet helped me got up again, and a lot closer to God. Our relationship hit some rough patch a few times, but somehow, repair was on its way.

 Which is really a good thing since I can't go on in this life without His hand guiding me all along.
So there you go, the conclusion of this story ends here.